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baby days

February 14, 2009
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best friends

best friends

Happy Valentines Day! Love to my sweet husband and my sweet little guy too! They are my best friends.

I think it is harder to become a mama when you are older (in my case I was 37). I am set in my ways, I have things I like, to do and to have. All that goes out the window with a kid. My friend Tamara told me, “I was determined to not let the baby change how I lived.” She was 25 at the time, but even so, I really can’t see how it doesn’t change the way you live, and uproariously so. Naptimes, feeding times, diaper changes, etc. there is a lot to do that never was done before and that means some other things must go. I tried to do it all in the beginning. And they sleep more in the beginning so you are lulled into thinking maybe it’s possible. After while I realized I just couldn’t flop around with my focus—it was making me batty. Now, my life is predominantly about the kid—I have surrendered to that, and I think it took me a year to surrender—I am probably still surrendering. I still do a little design and writing work but it is most decidedly on the side. Opening up to this new way of being, being a mama, is the most amazing thing. We are in the moment all the time, changeable moments. Just when I think we have some kind of routine, it shifts as he grows a little older, and I realize that these years are floating by and I really want to be here for each moment. He is totally fun to hang out with, I love our little strolls downtown and our playtimes. I fold laundry and he throws it on the floor, he plays and sometimes (like last night) whines and complains while I cook a meal and he happily takes in the sights while I do errands with him in the stroller or carrier. We just began learning about crayons yesterday and he made some decisive marks in red. This week someone said, “you guys are so cute together, you are like best friends!” And I thought “Wow, I never expected to be best friends with a one-year-old!” But it’s true—he’ll see something fun and look over at me to see if I see it. He’ll point to balloons along the way. I’ll show him birds and say who they are.  Baby days are slow and simple. I like it.

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