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everyday blessings

May 25, 2009

 I feel like I am in a total groove with Lukas. I know this means that tomorrow he is going to throw me for a loop.

playing peekaboo with his mama

playing peekaboo with his mama

 

Right now I am reading a book called Everyday Blessings, about parenting in the moment. It is based in Buddhist philosophy but is relevant to anyone. I LOVE this book. The main emphasis is on slowing down enough to savor each moment, whatever it is. Parenting gives us ample opportunity to practice again and again to remain in the moment. There is little time for meditation, but there are lots of moments to appreciate, even if they are crazy moments sometimes.

Now, when I am nursing Lukas to sleep and I wish he would fall asleep so I could go have my alone time, I realize I am thinking that thought and acknowledge it, attempting not to judge it, then move back to the moment of appreciating this time with my little guy, since that is where I am! He is still small, almost one and a half. He won’t be one and a half for long. He is one and a half right now though, and he loves to curl up with his mama and go to sleep. What a nice thing! OR, if he is throwing a toy because it’s not working the way he wants it to, I realize my nervous thoughts about what people will think if they see him acting like this and my nervous thoughts about if it is normal. Then I go to him and put the toy away, tell him I can see he is frustrated and that we don’t throw toys when we are frustrated. Then we play with something calmer, like a book. Appreciating the moment. No, this doesn’t happen all the time, sometimes I am just freaking out. But it happens WAY MORE than it used to.

I have been reluctant to change up the routine too much in order to give him stability. Lately, we’ve been doing more things on the weekends that are loosely based on the routine. It seems to be working out pretty well. I make sure he has his afternoon nap, a morning walk, some active playtime in the afternoon and then bedtime at home around 8pm. When we change it up, maybe two things will shift a bit and the other two stay the same. We have been going out to dinner sometimes and once in a while, we can get through the meal, other times, we manage to make it halfway through the meal and other times the meal hasn’t even arrived and he is ready to go! This doesn’t even bother me now, I don’t expect to finish a meal in a restaurant and I focus on the fact that I didn’t have to cook and that we are out doing something! And actually, his little face is often pretty cute when he is upset and if I can see that, I can beam a lot of love to him, which helps him and it helps me!

I am amazed and happy that he seems to enjoy the combo of occasional change and predictable routine. Of course, tomorrow he will throw me for a loop, I just know it. Another chance to practice being in the moment, and another chance to rely on and appreciate friends, family and the universe for their love and support.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 27, 2009 1:47 am

    Hi Karen,

    My name is Misko. I read and enjoyed very much both comments you posted on “Orion Magazine”, on Derrick Jensen’s “World at Gunpoint”.

    Best
    -Misko

  2. karenhess permalink
    May 27, 2009 2:59 am

    Thanks! Derrick Jensen is the best. He is realistic yet full of hope.

  3. May 27, 2009 3:15 am

    Yeah, he can ‘really’ hit the nail right on the head, and ask the right questions.

    I was glad you reminded some of those adults, who had seemingly forgot, that they don’t need to be told what and how to do things :¬)

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