frog costume

 

frog costume

and later in the evening, at my parents house, the gambling began...

Lukas has been talking about his frog costume “frog costume! Sacks!” ever since we found it at Sacks, our local thrift shop a few weeks back. I have added it to the toy box since he likes it so much. He had it on this morning too!

 

 

pumpkin patch

A little late but it was so fun. We went twice to the pumpkin patch. First with Sadie Bea for her birthday, then a week later with my dad or “Baka”. We have a lot of nice little pumpkins hanging around now. The kiddos had a great time climbing on the train ting and running through the fields. Lukas actually found his pumpkin all on his own and ever since them he talks about the “pumpkin patch” with enthusiasm. “Pumpkin patch! Bea! Baka!” he says, randomly when he wakes up in the morning or even just while playing with something else and it crosses his mind.

the field

This is the one mama!"

Sadie Bea on the train

he likes to play kitchen

 

What is a kitchen for anyway?

 

the piñata and other impressions

our little bike enthusiast, he is very serious about things he is interested in

Lukas does a lot of things during our days. To us they may seem like normal things but to him they are things he has never seen before in his life! Like for example, bikes, which all have some new element that he discovers immediately but are still recognizable as bikes! Or the tractors that were fixing our streets, that would be parked in some new configuration each evening. Or perhaps the birthday party for the six-year-old that we attended today, which included a piñata and a jumphouse and lots of six-year-olds. He was so impressed by this. I know his little brain is registering it all when he goes quiet and begins his observation from my lap or arms.

He stared at those kids swinging the bat at the piñata for a long time. Someone asked if he wanted to try it and I just said “I think he is having fun just seeing it!” Then he pointed at the broken piñata bits that were flying around and said with delight and a little uncertainty, “uh-oh!” I explained that it was supposed to happen and he looked solemnly at it for a little longer.

Next I took off his shoes and showed him the jumphouse. He refused to go in and just wanted to be held and look at it. Then he saw all the kids go into the jumphouse and was fascinated by the loud, shouting, rambunctious, jumping kids. There was a mini-trampoline next to the jumphouse everyone was using too. Eventually, when there were only a few kids, he took his own shoes off, walked over to the mini trampoline and began some little jumps. When all the kids were out of the house, he wanted to check it out so we took him over and he readily went in. He got the feel of the place and then wanted to come out.

The thing I love about this little exploration is how it came back in the evening. I was nursing him to sleep tonight and after I told him the story of his day, he looked up at me and said “uh-oh!” What is “uh-oh?” I said and he said “kids!” and I realized he wanted to talk about the piñata! So I told him about the piñata and how it’s supposed to break so things (not wanting to invoke the word candy) come out of it, and he said, “things!” Then he said “uh-oh!” again with delight that I understood him. Then he said “jumphouse” and I talked about that a bit while he looked me in the eyes in the semi-darkness. Contentedly he said, “kids, jumphouse, uh-oh” and went back to nursing and was asleep in a few minutes. We totally talked about his day! What a sweet shared moment!

nursing

mama and son

I am at the point now where I am practically the only one left nursing, of the mamas with kids Lukie’s age, I  mean.

Lukas is almost two and by now many mamas have stopped for various reasons, including wanting or having another baby, wanting their body back to themselves, needing a night out once in a while, and hosts of others. I know one woman who nursed her daughter until she was four. The daughter is now in high school and is a very happy, self-confident adventurous girl with a good connection with her parents. This bodes well, but I would like more examples too.

I remind myself that the international average duration for breastfeeding is over age three and that includes western countries that often stop before age one. Even so, there is not a lot of info about nursing at this stage. It is actually quite amazing that nothing is said, since there is a whole host of new things that you experience when your toddler is nursing as opposed to a baby.

For one, they are totally conscious beings by now, walking around and saying things and they are appreciative of the nursing. Also, they can come over and practically do it themselves, then run off when they are done. Also, as toddlers, they get frustrated with things, and this is such an easy way to soothe and comfort them. If he is sick, I nurse Lukas a lot and he gets his fluids and his comfort all in one. No Pedialyte needed. When we were at the bluegrass festival, at the first sign of overwhelm, he knew he could retreat to the comfort of nursing. I didn’t have to monitor that for him. I think it prevented  any meltdown and allowed him to enjoy the festival more—and it certainly allowed me to enjoy the festival more. A friend pointed out that you can worry less about picky toddler nutrition if you are nursing, since you are still providing all needed nutrients. If there is a gap in the diet, it is filled. One less worry is fine with me. Even though I do my best with his food I sometimes wonder if the main staples of soup, applesauce, yogurt, crackers, O’s and milk are balanced…

I’ve ordered these two books Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler to find out more about the toddler nursing stage. They were actually the only books I could find on the subject. I’ll report back if they were useful and if I find out anything else.

hardly strictly

Welcome to the festival!

I really love bluegrass music. And I live near San Francisco, where the generous Warren Hellman personally produces Hardly Strictly Bluegrass, a free, non commercial, three-day blugrass festival in Golden Gate Park, featuring five stages of the best musicians performing for three days. This has been going on for nine years and have I ever attended? No.

Now that I have a little kid, I really want to do these things. Last year Lukas was seriously too young for a huge burst of energy like that, but this year, I thought we should try it and see how he did at a festival. Wow, was he great!

Much to the surprise and happiness of my husband, I suggest we go to this show. I explain that anything could happen, that we might only stay an hour even and he readily agrees to everything. I call my friend Sacha and we arrange to stay at her house Saturday night so we can go Saturday and not have to drive back at night (plus we get to hang out with her, which is rare these days!) The day before, I plan our packing so I will be relaxed. I have diapers, snacks, etc all totally accessible and ready. We have a picnic lunch, the carrier and the collapsable stroller. I won’t go into the details, but suffice to say that I did an amazing job bringing every single thing we needed but not more so we were totally compact!

bikes in trees

When we arrive, we park in a space that is only 2 hour parking so we are basically certain to get a ticket. Everyone is doing it, so we do too. I have been prepping Lukas for a day telling him about the music in the park and all the people we will be seeing so he is expecting something interesting to happen. Into the stroller, and off we go. The walk through Golden Gate park is gorgeous and the weather is perfect. We follow the crowd to the festival. As we approach there are bikes parked in trees on the sides of the path and a huge waterfall. “wawa.” says Lukas reverently, and then, pointing at the trees, “bikes”.

I can’t even believe how many people are at this event. In 2005 there were 300,000 and Scott said it was much more crowded this year so I imagine there are many more than that right now. We eventually head into the trees and off the path and try to figure out what to do about seating since it is completely packed already at 2:30pm. We can hear Steve Martin playing on the Banjo stage and the crowd is appreciative! Sitting on a log, we relax and have some applesauce and receive a call from Sacha who has just arrived too. We have been contemplating going to a museum instead since it is so crowded, even though I could have just as easily stayed on that log and enjoyed myself hearing the music from there. Sacha walks over to where we are and lets us know that her roommate has a blanket spread out at the Banjo stage and we are all going over there. So we go, and fold up the stroller and carry Lukie through the crowd to the blanket.

L is loving the fest

It is even crowded at the blanket but it is comfortable and we can see and hear great! We hear Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder, I am feeding Lukas applesauce and pita bread and crackers and hummus and chips and he just keeps snacking away steadily and nursing steadily and sitting on my lap happily. Friends come and go on the blanket and beer and a flask emerge. Lukas is still happily hanging out on my lap when Gillian Welsh appears on sstage. After one song, I announce that even if we have to leave now, I will be happy. Really she is the only act I wanted to see. The others are a bonus and if we were childless, yes we would have seen her and wandered from stage to stage and stayed all three days and all, but one song and I am happy here.

With eternal gratitude, I find that Lukas is extremely content hanging out and listening to Gillian Welsh on my lap. After Gillian’s spirit-soaring, crowd-calming duet of Didn’t Leave Nobody But The Baby with Emmylou Harris, he even clapped, and this is after a few hours of being there! Wow, I have a cool little kid, I am thinking. So when dusk began to arrive and Steve Earle was coming on stage, I decided we should head back to Sacha’s so we could leave on a good note. I carry him in the carrier and he is happy still to be close with his mama and I am happy to be with him and Scott leads us out of the crowd to the path where I can’t help it I buy a $6 hot dog (kosher, grass-fed, Niman Ranch beef OK?) and it is absolutely delicious. We head toward a full moon away from cold ocean wind that is picking up now and sweeping over the park, where there used to be sand dunes.

One again I feel contentment at a sponsor-free event, no beer companies, only music, small local vendors and pretty happy people all around. How fortunate we are to have a philanthropist in the Bay Area that puts his love of music into action for his community. But, then again, San Francisco is famous for putting love into action. So many of its inhabitants are doing beautiful things with their lives: painting gorgeous inspiring murals; leading Sunday Streets; working for the Bike Coalition; even the creation of Golden Gate Park itself, transformed from the original sand dunes to the lush public gathering place it is today, and many many other inspirational actions, all stemming from an inner love of place and beauty.

We don’t even have a ticket on our car the next day.

Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder

the crowd goes crazy for R Skaggs

Gillian Welch and David Rawlings sing into the ocean gale

the walk home

a happy afternoon

inside the gourd arch at the freestone garden

“Free-stone! Bread!” He says as we head out to the Wild Flour Bread bakery. One of our favorite outings, we drive to Valley Ford for his nap. I park in a parking lot under a tree and read The Brothers Karamazov until he wakes up, then off to Freestone and the bakery! He walks in of his own accord and the crowd parts as he heads to the kids’ table. While he is there, I order up a pumpkin spice bread, a fougasse, and a seeded bread. I pay and grab our bag just in time to follow him out the door. He heads straight for the garden and goes through the gate. This bakery has a beautiful garden open to the public right next door, along with some farm animals and a fruit tree orchard. I have spent entire afternoons in this garden. Walking down the path and singing, Lukie looks so happy in the leaves, then, he stops short. “Noo-o!” he says and refuses to go another step. I look to see what is up ahead and it is a statue, which he is afraid of. Today he is afraid of all statues, even the one of a pig in a chef’s uniform. We attempt to side-step all of the garden statues today and succeed while we are in the berry rows. He loves this garden for all the raspberries and eats a lot of them. We eat bread in the chairs at the back of the garden (away from all statues) and watch the birds. He is amazingly contemplative for a toddler. After visiting the horse and the chickens and appreciating the espaliered apple trees, we head back home, a happy afternoon. “happy, happy” he says on the way home along with “sun in eyes!” and I suggest that he pull his hat down over his eyes, which seems to work just fine.

eating fougasse

this one looks good...

yes indeed, it is good

a statue

heading home

handcar regatta

At the Handcar Regatta with my little guy

With great anticipation, we pack the whole family off to the Handcar Regatta, where incredible artist-built handcars race along the tracks and compete not just in speed but in how beautiful they perform or look. The feeling of the gathering of thousands is a version of old-timey meets the future, and many costumed attendees and artworks are fresh from the Black Rock Desert playa—one can clearly see white dust still engrained into the wood of the Front Porch Crew bandstand.

Since I wasn’t able to go to Burning Man this year, I feel entitled to have fun at the Regatta. Perusing my costume stash, I discover I have a million things to wear. Things that haven’t been worn in a while…

First, I have to plan ahead to wear a costume, no night-before trying on these days. I work it out during an hour of babysitting, then make a hat at night after Lukas is asleep. The dressing the morning of the Regatta is not easy. Scott plays with Lukas and inevitably the little guy wants to nurse in the middle of hat application. So nurse we do and there is not just a little stress over the whole morning. When we finally arrive at the tracks, Lukas is sleeping, so Scott stays in the car while I am able to walk a solo loop around and see all the handcars, walking over terrain the stroller is going to have a hard time with. I see a bunch of friends, including Tammara, Edwin and their new baby Anna bumping along in her stroller over the dusty railroad tracks.

one of my favorites!

It really helped to orient myself to the event like this, so when I return to the car and Lukas wakes up a few minutes later, we are off with the stroller and I know just where to take us. First we head right for the double railroad tracks where the handcars are racing so Lukas can see the “cool bikes”. It is getting crowded and the terrain is dusty and rugged for our stroller—hmm it feels like Victorian times when the roads weren’t paved yet. Lukas is a good sport through it all. My favorite handcar entry is the hamster wheel, as I call it, with the guys inside rolling it along, there are many others–all  on the Handcar Regatta website.

The best thing by far is the complete lack of corporate sponsorship. Obviously thousands of other people think so too. The food is delicious, for lunch we order an apple pizza and glasses of lemonade that are obviously homemade packed with lemon balm leaves and flowers and lemon slices. All the vendors are local and small.

Amazing art pieces are installed around the railroad tracks, some straight from Burning Man, like Bryan Tedrick’s Portal of Evolution, and I think people don’t realize that you can climb on it, unlike most sculpture made these days.

Cyclecide—bike-powered kids' ride

There are some really cool kids’ rides, not from some kids’ ride company but from people who make them for fun and bring them out for other people to have fun with. One is simply a circle of bikes welded together under a round canopy like a bike merry-go-round. That has to be the coolest little kid ride since all kids want to do is ride bikes! Then there is the Cyclecide, a bike powered swing-go-round handcrafted by bike enthusiasts. Four people ride the bikes and make the swings go around higher and higher until they are seriously almost horizontal.

The music is local and not sponsored by any beer companies. Old time music floats out from the Front Porch crew off their portable front porch music stage—a front porch from an appalachian home recreated on a trailer. On the kids’ Snake Oil stage, we enjoy the sweet sounds of Gabby Lala, who babysat Lukas over the summer and she says hello to the little guy from the stage!

The entire thing feels like a community festival celebrating creativity and fun and each other and I feel as if I are experiencing something real and inclusive, sort of like maybe we are hanging out with a few thousand of our closest friends.

At this point, it is getting really hot, like 102 degrees type hot, and Lukas is dragging a bit, so we head back home, knowing that in a couple of years, he’ll actually be able to remember it and it is really going to be amazing for him to be able to attend every year! And, I am hoping that getting dressed up becomes easier too!

i close my eyes

sweet dreams

He is such a sweetie, and is especially sweet when he is sleeping.

talk to me

can I even tell you how much I love this little guy???

The walking is great but can I explain how amazing the talking is? I can’t believe the amount of talking this kid is doing! It seems to have happened overnight. He went from a “hat”, “ap” and “yoyo” vocabulary to “bye beach see you soon,” “a bunch of kids” and parroting anything and everything we say. Now we really need to have good grammar. He also seems to have a memory. He asks about a horse he hasn’t seen for months named Cocoa. He randomly mentions his half brother Evan (Edda) who hasn’t been here for a couple of weeks. He fake calls his friend Bea on the phone and says “Hi Bea, beach, wawa, seaweed” like he’s telling her about his day at the beach! His dad went out on a boat tonight and he kept saying “dada”, then a dramatic pause, then “boat”. I realize no one else probably thinks this is as amazing as I do, but it is SO COOL to see your little baby morph into a kid. When they are babies it’s easy to think you can say whatever in front of them, but they are listening, and later they will say it. So all you parents of babies, watch out, that baby knows what you are talking about.